It is going to rain in Indiana – AGAIN!

I have always loved the rain. Once, we were on vacation, staying in a relative’s house, and the rain drummed down all night on their tin roof. I was just a kid but I thought it was the coolest sound in the world.

 

Rain on camping canvas is awesome. Other than the safety issue, I love rain when I am driving. And, when I am walking, I truly walk in the rain. I do not run.

 

This morning I woke up to lightening. Then it was clear and now, at 8 am it is dark, lightening and ready to fulfil its promise of rain. I may stand outside in it for a while (when the lightening is not near) but there are certain problems with rain in our County.

 

When it rains in Indiana, and it does often:

1. The electricity goes on and off all day

3. The phone lines buzz and we get a party line on our phone, and since the repairman doesn’t come out for five days, it’s dry and gone by then and AT&T charges you $51 for the privilege of having a party line.

4. You can’t get on the internet because your phone lines buzz.

5. We don’t need terrorists in Indiana; our infrastructure is disintegrating all on its own.

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The inferior infernal Indiana infrastructure

This morning, I was working on a humorous post for today, in my continuing effort to bring the word humor above FLDS in my tag clouds, but it is growing into an epic novel and not that funny of one either. And, to top it off, the sky is darkening and I have just heard thunder.

When it rains in Indiana, as it does a lot, we lose our totally unreliable phone service. We actually do not lose it, we join the 19th century by gaining party lines. The other day I heard a whole conversation about someones furniture, while repeating, “Can you hear me? Can you hear me?” Obviously, I could hear them but they couldn’t hear me. Sometimes I can talk to the other party, I met a neighbor on our road through our party line. 

Rarely is this State conducive to being On-line. The Internet does not like wet phone lines. The sky darkens and the Satellite goes out too. This is usually timed perfectly by the sky Gods. Always, it goes out the last ten minutes of the only Law & Order I have never seen before. Since Law & Order, and all of its initials, is on constantly at our home, I imagine the odds of this happening are fairly large.

As I wrote that last sentence, I was kicked off the internet. No Joke! Honest! I immediately hit print screen, because I didn’t know when I saved last. I am in the habit of saving constantly already but this problem has made it even more important.

Indiana probably has more laptops, per capita, than any other state, so that when the electricity goes out, as it does approximately four times a month, we do not lose our work product.  Seriously, I kept track for several months of power outages and it did; four times each month. Anyway, with a laptop and battery back up, you swear a lot less when the electricity surges and dies.

So, I shall go now and light my hurricane lamp as I wait for the power to go out. I shall fill a kettle of water, to boil for when the water main breaks, yet again. And, as I say adieu to you nice Internet folk, I am safe in the knowledge that terrorists will never strike Indiana. Why bother? We’re disintegrating all on our own.

UPDATES:  will be posted because it is hard to believe but true: I was not real diligent in noting these down but here is just a sampling.

March 2008: 6th: electricity out 6:15 am to 9:30 am : June 8th: came home to boil order but that was due to the flood:  31st: Electricity on and off five times till it went out at 6:45 pm (I think this is the time it was out all night and well into the next day. Ice on Brown County trees are not conducive to power. )

April 2008: 6th, electricity on and off numerous times

May 2008: 1st, water main broke,

June 2008: 3rd, Electric out one time: 4th, electric out 7pm to 6 am: 13th electric out 4:45 to 7:45; 30th, Sunny sky, light wind. Electricity out from 12:05 to 2:20 pm. Odd because it just went out. Usually it goes on and off a few times before staying out.

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Tag Clouds

I have discovered the most fun thing. Now granted, it is after 10:00pm, in Indiana, and according to Master Daughter, I am not to be held responsible for any Blog I post after 10:00pm.  Even without any dippers of Jose Cuervo, I can find humor. And, the Tag Cloud thingy I clicked to show on my Blog today is hysterical. 

 

Just take random words and put them together. It’s like poetry.  So, I’m reading the tags and just having all kinds of ideas for new Blogs. It’s a font of inspiration.

So, here is a sample of my Tag Clouds:

 

Chicago Chihuahua: Now, are Chihuahua’s different in Chicago than they are in Denver?  I mean, Chihuahua’s in Wyoming have to be black and wear bandanas around their necks. You can’t even buy a pickup truck in Wyoming without proof of black dog ownership.  The Bandana may be a Colorado thing, now that I think of it. Wyomingites don’t want to admit they might have a dog for fun. (No offense, I love Wyoming)

 

FLDS food foolishness: Do I need to type anything here? Maybe something like, food can’t be red: it’s either the mark of the Devil or of blood, so that means you can’t eat apples (unless you get a heathen to peel them) or tomatoes. What about strawberries and watermelon. Is life worth living without strawberries and watermelon?

 

Hone Schooling humor: Gosh, what I could do with this.  Now, all you homeschoolers, I know people who do a fantastic job homeschooling; unfortunately, I know too many people who have no business homeschooling. So, look at yourself and only be offended if you are in the last group and don’t write me nasty letters if you know darn well you are doing an excellent job. But, most of the home schooling parents I met had NO sense of humor. I think I’ll stop there before I say something I’ll regret in the morning and then it will be raining, in Indiana, and I won’t be able to go on and delete it and pretend I didn’t say it and I’ll get hate mail Blogs. 

 

Indiana knitting: Perhaps we could repair our infrastructure that way. When it rains in Indiana you get a party line phone line.  It doesn’t take rain to lose power. That happens once a month whether you want it to or not. The water main is the best; it only breaks every other month.

 

Polygamy pottery: Is that a coffee pot with eight coffee cups? Could it be a set with one large bowl and eight cereal bowls? Or a tea pot and eight teacups?

 

Wisconsin writing: That would be the hilarious Blog my niece would have. I will try to get her to join the family Blog-a-thon when I’m up there for the next family wedding.

Okay, I’m going to bed now. Hope I don’t hate myself in the morning.

 

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