Grandma, tweezers, gaming and winkies

Do NOT, tell my mother I put this picture up on the Internet.  She would not be pleased.  This is her squinting to see through the “special affect” glasses that Master’s Daughter passed out this year.  There were two kinds.  One put snowmen around the Christmas tree lights and the other, as you will see below, put santas around them.  Ironically, mom was the only person who could not see the special affect.These are not actualy Santa lights, but something wierd the glasses did.  Now, aren’t you glad I told you that?As I was growing up, my mother would sit in the window and watch me play outside.  To pass the time more productively, mom would bring a mirror and tweezers and use the time to pluck her chin.  Chin hair is equal to having snot hanging from your nose, in my mother’s world.  So, we were not surprised to see mom pull her chair over to the bearded lizard’s cage, which has a bright light, and get our her mirror and tweezers.  Mom has the smoothest chin on the face of the earth.

Master’s Daughter told me that I was not allowed to ask her what my “blog” notes mean, this year.  This is because I write cryptic words and then forget what they mean.  So, I sit here this morning trying to decipher what I thought was clear at the time.  The note for the above paragraph read, “Plucking hairs by Komodo Bearded Dragon light grew up with hair plucking in window.”  I did much better this year, than my usual two word notes.

Possibly not with all of them, however.  “Does Kronk trump Spock  -LaSalle-Dice.”  Okay, I think this has something with a dice game they were playing.  This year, with Gaffer there, the only breaks in  game playing for days was to open presents and occasionally to sleep.  I think Spok is Spock from Star Trek, and Kronk.  Could that be Christmas at the Kronks?  I vaguely remember hearing the comment and a lot of laughing, but that’s all I got on those notes,  folks.

Here is the gaming line.  My three are closest: EMT, JRock, Gaffer and then two grandsons, Electrician and Army guy.  The gaming line was usually at the table with anyone they could corral and playing Risk or Monopoly (with two boards connected, at one point), cards or dice.  Anything they could think of.  They are a noisy group and Master’s Daughter is considering a temporary sound barrier wall for Christmas celebrations.

Okay, the last Holiday blog note, I promise (or not), is the good one.  Ready?  “Grandma had a winky in her face.”  Okay, this did not happen at Master’s Daughters house, but it was a story mom was telling us about a life-drawing class. 

It was her first experience at life-drawing and she was not real comfortable, but doing her best, when the teacher came over and pointed to her sketch pad and said, “I don’t think you want that area, that big.”  Needless to say, the class broke up in laughter.  Later, as the model took a break and mom was adding touches to her sketch, he came over to see the “that big” area and mom looked up to find he had NOT put on a robe and “IT” was right in her face. 

Okay, maybe you had to be there.

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There’s no place like home!

That is true.  There are places that are better, but it’s still great to crawl into your own bed. 

Master’s Daughter’s house definitely has it’s perks.  She is a great cook and has the absolutely best personality in the world.  Everyone is welcome and warmly treated.  Somehow, she keeps her patience throughout it all.

I love to go camping and felt like I was sleeping by a babbling brook, as the fish tanks gurgled and the sacrificial crickets chirped in the bearded lizard’s cage.  The parrot occasionally added the sound of a cell phone ringing and other odd noises.   The immortal rabbit, apparently ten years is way beyond it’s expected life span, would ring her bell occasionally.  All the while, Christmas light stars twinkled around me.

By the way, I slept on the couch in her front room, gram had the guest bed and I learned long ago that my mother is too restless to share a room.

Irritating little Chihuahua was very well behaved, for a change.  She only irritated resident dog once, bad enough to get warned off, and she let everyone pet her.  This was quite an improvement in her behavior and perhaps she has finally realized that other people can pet her belly and head beside us.

Chihuahua provided the evening entertainment, as every night, at 8:00pm, she got up from her nap and sat and starred at someone: telepathically commanding them to get up and go to bed, so she could do the same.  By 8:30, she was dancing from person to person, begging them to go to bed.  By 10:00 pm she had given up and was trying to burrow behind me to get under the covers.  There was a lot of laughing as the dog has decided she should learn to talk and seriously tries to tell us to “go to bed.” 

She is happy to be home and in her own bed.

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“I got a wand and you didn’t!”

I am possibly – heck not even probably, we are talking certainly here, the ONLY sixty year old to tell a seven year old, on Christmas day,  

 

“Yeah, but I got a wand and you didn’t!”   

 

In my defense, I will say that I did not stick my tongue out at her and I let her help me open the coolest present I have ever gotten, nay, anyone has ever gotten, in the whole wide world. 

 

Master’s Daughter always gives the most thought out, greatest gifts.  She has reached an all time high this year.  She would have to give me Viggo Mortensen next year to even come close.   

 

The first gift I opened from her would have been noteworthy on its own.  I grew up with a clock that belonged to my Maternal Grandmother.  It was the neatest clock and I just loved it.  I have it, in fact, but it no longer works and when husband tried to get it repaired, he was told that the mechanism was no longer made and could not be fixed. 

 

First, I opened a box with a working clock just like my grandmothers; complete with flickering fireplace, clock and rocking grandmother.  It all works too.  I cried.  I really did.  It was something I never could have expected.  Master’s Daughter suggested that I take the works from the new clock and put them in the old clock, but the gift is just as special as the old clock, so I will put the new clock out in its place.

 And, as if that wasn’t enough.  I got the best gift in the world next.  Since I had already cried once, I held that in and started laughing so hard, that I had tears in my eyes.  I was overcome with happiness.

 It started with an antique trunk/chest. 

  The top tray had a cover on it and a letter lay on top, 

 

 from Minerva McGonagall at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  And, of course, it included a list of the “necessary books and equipment.” 

 

 She had filled the trunk with all sorts of goodies needed to attend Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  The tray held supplies for potion making.  I have floo powder, Gillyweed, and Pollyjuice potion.  As Master’s Daughter pointed out, all I need is a few strands of Viggo Mortensen’s hair.

 

I have a plant to grow for herbology, a map of Hogsmead, a knitted hat and sock for my own personal elf, and S.P.E.W. badge, of course.

 

 

When I lifted the tray, I had books: The Government Manual for New Wizards, the Tales of Beedle the Bard (which I had put off buying) and the British version of the two book set of Quidditch and Magical Beasts.  I also have the Monster Book of Monsters and when you pull out it’s tongue it shivers, and I have a cauldron.

 

 As if that wasn’t a special enough gift, I also have a wand and a time turner.What more could a woman want?? 

 

 

 How about a partially knitted Griffyndor Scarf?  Is it any wonder she didn’t have time to finish it?  She offered to keep working on it but I will have the pleasure of finishing it myself.

 I must go now.  I am studying for my five book, thirty page, O.W.L. Exams, incuded in my chest.

 

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Lots of laughs and no arguments, to all!

This is the first Christmas we have taken our new/used Chrysler Voyager to Master Daughter’s house.  We make the trek each year with my mother and the three boys, and have had a larger Astro Van in the past.  Since it has no heater/air-conditioner, no muffler and not much else working, we purchased this car and, you know what, it’s not as big as it looks.

I really love the Voyager.  Visibility is fantastic in it and gas mileage is great, but pile in six people, a guitar, a suitcase for each and presents for twelve adults and two little girls and you are talking squished.  We do have two car top carriers or we would be giving gift cards only for presents.

First off, the car breaks down.  Three months ago I told husband that the car had a ping noise.  My husband’s philosophy of life is don’t fix it until your wife is stranded in a blizzard.  This has happened. 

So, we left a day late and he replaced an oil sensor in sub-zero weather.  I had no sympathy for him.  By the way, we have another squeaking in the car and I will be sure and write you all and let you know when I break down from that.

So, we left a day late and it has snowed since.  We cancelled our evening in Michigan, with my niece, as the weather is so bad and we are hibernating inside with Master Daughter’s family, which includes a really good dog who is the bane of irritating little Chihuahua’s life.  It also includes a parrot, a bearded lizard, a rabbit and many fish.   My Army grandson is home on leave and will ship out to Kuwait in January.  And, her oldest son is coming tomorrow with his girl and two little girls.

Last night we had a doggie do-up.  Chihuahua got a bit too close to the other dog’s dish and got a warning and let out a squeal.  The rest of the night she was glued to my leg, for protection, and snuggled up to me in bed till I rolled over and she fell out of bed.  Luckily, it was a low cot.  Unluckily, she was trapped under a desk and had to find her way out. 

But, if this is the worse of our trip, it is a great trip.  We were laughing so hard the first night that EMT came in the room and said, “Gee, and they haven’t even had a drink.” That is what is so great about family here, we have a wonderful time; lots of laughs and no arguments.

And, that is my wish for all of you.  Have a safe holiday with lots of laughs and no arguments.

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The Very first Blog

For some time, I have been reading the notes at the end of Dharma and Greg.  Mind you, you barely get to read more than four words but you could pick and choose where to start and be very fast.  It was pointed out to me that it is a message from Chuck Lorre and, I figured this one out all on my own, intelligent person that I am, that the message changes daily, so no way you are ever going to read one.

 

Today, we sit at Master Daughter’s house, watching Tivo’d episodes of The Big Bang Theory and stopping them at the end to read all but the last three lines of the message.  I, am also enjoying her high speed access and suddenly my brain kicks in (At Master’s Daughter I am often up until 1:00 am.  It is just my brain that is not up at 6:00 am.)  Anyway, my brain kicks in and says, “LOLS.”  I do not text, but I thought I should look like I am young and hip, so it stands for ‘Look on Line Stupid.’

 

And, voila, on line, right where it has probably been for years, is Chuck Lorre Productions – Vanity Cards.  This is a listing of the “cards” at the end of the shows for: The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Dharma & Greg, Cybil and Grace Under Fire.  All programs I have enjoyed over the years.  No longer is there any need to read four words and fill in the rest with your own thoughts.

 

I don’t know when blogging started but this may be the very first Blog on earth.

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I love, no I hate, no I love my touchscreen laptop.

Since I have a definite love/hate relationship with my touchscreen laptop, I was interested in jkOnTheRun » Blog Archive Touchscreens add nothing to laptop usefulness « this blog when I went to log on this evening. 

I think every point he makes is entirely valid.  For the average person, and sometimes me, (and we all know I am a bit off of average) the touchscreen is a gimmick.  This is as in “see what I can do!”  And, even I, who do use my touchscreen a good amount of the time, go for weeks without touching it. 

What he did not address, and I admit I skimmed the article as I was interested on posting how stupid some people can be, which is a far more interesting topic; but what he did not address, is two points.

1.  My Gateway screen is now all scratched in the center area where I do most of my work with the stylis.  Sitting here typing at night I really cannot see it.  During the daytime, with light behind me, it looks like the screen is dirty.  But, it is worn and even their neat little cloth will not buff out the wear.

2.  My Gateway now sits on a wooden board with a ‘jury rig’ board support nailed on behind it because the fricking wires all broke for the swivel screen.  Try explaining that to people when they see you coming in with your high tech laptop and a board to hold the screen up.  It will either slam on your hands or the other direction with very little provocation.

Now, what I do use my stylis and touchscreen for is drawing.  I am an artist and when I have something I need to get across that needs a touch here or a touch there, it is much easier to use the stylis rather than altering the original, scanning it in and all that stuff.  Right now, in revamping my web page (AND GUESS WHAT!!! sorry for yelling, but it’s exciting.  My INDEX page is finished.  Only, eight more pages to go.) anyway, I have used it a lot when I noticed how things looked in my browser and needed to correct them.

The other thing that was nice with the swivel is when I had people out in my studio and I could swivel the screen to show customers.  Alas, no more swivel. 

My scratched screen now just slams.

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Every movie is a new movie!

The boys have wanted me to purchase Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for some time now.  I gave in and bought it the other day.  The only thing is that, things being things, they did not have the wide screen version and I did not notice till we were home.  Drats!

 

We had a family movie night, with popcorn and most cell phones off.  We have a visiting Harry in our house.  Actually, that is his name and he needed a place to stay, so Harry is our guest.  I gave up waiting for Harry to get off the cell phone and he finally went downstairs with it.  He’s a nice kid but addicted to a girl.  And, that’s a whole other post.

 

This viewing of Harry Potter just reinforced for me, yet again, the shear shortness of my memory.  I have now established that it does not last five months.  We saw this movie at the theatre and yet it was like watching a brand new movie.  I didn’t remember how it opened and I kept telling myself that we must have walked into the theatre late.

 

By the end, I knew I just did not remember seeing it before.  There were a few scenes, mostly like camera images that I remembered.  Filch on the ladder was one and I love it when he does that “high knee run” of his.  But, I had forgotten Groap (sp?) and all kinds of other stuff.  I do remember not being real impressed with it the first time.

 

I thought it did not flow well; that the scenes were too disjointed.  But, I had just read the book over again, so maybe you are better off not reading the book right before seeing the movies.  And, I do read Harry Potter over again.  I love J. K. Rowling’s writing.

 

So, every time I feel guilty for buying another DVD, I just remind myself, it’s all new to me: over and over and over and over.

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I gag, you gag!

Growing up with an obssessive compulsive mother, it is not at all strange that I should have a tick or two.  It is always nice to learn that you are not the only person in the world with a particular tick.  So, when I read Me and Your Mouth « XUP  this morning, I about fell on the floor laughing. 

 

 

Now, I do not gag when others talk with their mouth open, when eating, but I do not look long either.  I do gag, wretch and about lose it all however, when people put live wiggly things in their mouths on television.  I imagine, in person it would be even worse but I tend not to hang out too long with people who  eat live, wiggly things.  This explains, only one reason,  why I do not watch things like Survivor.

 

 

 

I had a friend who could not eat in front of others.  She would take her plate over in a corner and turn her back on you to eat.  At the very least, if cornered, she would sort of turn around and chew.  She was a dear, sweet girl and I always wondered just how bad her home life was.

 

 

 

But, Gum chewing, Gosh I am with you XUP.  Mom chewed gum constantly.  She has a bad breath phobia.  She constantly thinks her breath is bad, even when it isn’t and used to chomp gum to cover up the non-existant bad breath.  She also popped her gum.  Talk about grating your nerves!

 

 

 

I cannot chew gum, to this day, because she made me chew it too.  Perhaps my breath was bad?  Whatever the case, I gag over gum in my mouth.  I’m okay until the flavor is gone, which takes about 2/10ths of a second, then it’s like “GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH!”

 

 

 

I also gag over wet hair.  Yes, that is right, wet hair.  Now, this is not hair on a head after showering.  Hair, clumped in great numbers, is safe. This is one hair, detached from the head, wet on a sink or counter.  I do a gag or two and then start drive heaves.  I’m almost gagging just envisioning a wet hair.  This started when I was pregnant and has not gone away. 

 

 

 

I can usually brush my teeth without gagging, but cannot hold that toothpaste in my mouth for long either.  I don’t mind others brushing their teeth though. 

 

 

 

I also do not like the sound of chewing.  There is a very distinct sound to each persons chew.  Someone, who shall remain nameless, in my house sounds like a chipmunk when he chews.  Since he takes very large bites (Warning, digression here!  He was once told by a dentist that he has a very small mouth.  Hence, he feels he needs to cram food in because his mouth is small.  Perhaps this is also why he feels the need to use so many words.  You know, they have to come all out because they could get jammed up in his mouth!) I don’t know why he sounds like he is nibbling, but I’m sure that justifiable is the term the police will use someday. 

 

 

I cannot hold a pen in my mouth, or hair pins, or dog biscuits (don’t even ask).  Even on the very tip of my mouth, yuck! Gag!

 

 

  

 

But, as far as that last thing, XUP, I guess it just goes to show that if you are having enough fun, you won’t gag.

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How funny is a colonoscopy?

All in all, given that I had no idea I had even had it, when I woke up, it wasn’t bad and the report was all good.

I had a humorous anesthesiologist, which is probably the first time I’ve had that. He was cute too. But, when he told me the shot he was putting in my iv would put me out in about thirty seconds, he wasn’t kidding. When I woke up, I didn’t even know I had gone in and had it done. I thought I had just dozed off.

So, all of you out there, who should have a colonoscopy, but who are afraid of indignity or pain or just plain putting it off. Don’t. I will say, the day before is like having the flu but it beats letting a possible cancer grow in your colon.

So, there is my health message for the day.

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It is time for a Viggo Mortensen post!

Since Viggo Mortensen – 99.9% perfect beats my next top viewed post by double the visitors, I figure my Holiday gift to my readers will be a Polldaddy Poll. It will stay on top of my blog until New Years Eve (if I remember to let it move on down then), and there is no set times you can vote. So, have a ball, and check below it for more recent blogs, I will keep adding.

OKAY! Amendment here. I obviously am Post-dyslexic. I think I either picked the wrong post to use or I just always want too many questions. Anytime I look at someone elses poll, my first thought is, “They don’t have my answer to choose.” I guess you can’t include them all, so I am letting this drop down into oblivion. Besides, I have something important to say about mouths and eating.

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