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Archive for the ‘Abuse of Fellow Humans’ Category

Martha Southgate author of “The Taste of Salt” was complaining about the movie “The Maid” on CNN.   Then, on comes one of the actresses and says something like, that she had to debate doing the movie because she had trouble with doing a part (that of the maid in 2011), that being a maid is demeaning.

Now, don’t shoot me if I misunderstood because far be it for me to get anything wrong and run with it, but I’m not about to stop now.

EXCUSE ME!?!

Is being a ditch digger demeaning?  Is it more demeaning to be a lawyer than a doctor or a babysitter than a waitress?

Were these maids possibly treated in a demeaning manner?  HELL YES!

But, were they also doing an honest day’s work for less than an honest days wage to feed their families?  HELL YES!!

No matter what society you live in, you do the best you can with what you are given.

I grew up in the 50s, in a household that did not believe that women should go to college.  Women  were to be taken care of, (all the while they are cleaning the toilets, that  is.)  Did I finally get my butt through  college?  Yes, I did.  Did I pick the best vocation for the    money?  Well, no!

I started off in pre-law.   Made straight A’s and thought about doing something, other than being a  lawyer in this vein.  Then, I got a  divorce and needed to work to support my girls.  So, I became a legal secretary.   It was there, I was good at it and it was a wage.  I never once thought about it being demeaning  to be a secretary rather than a lawyer.

I have, however, been treated in a VERY demeaning manner by bosses, and then I have had other bosses who treated me like family.

In the end, I’m an artist and there is definitely a reason  why they call it us “Starving artists.”   I have my hand in about five separate ways to
make a living.  I get $200 here and $20 there.  I don’t care if I paint toilets,      there is nothing about working any job that is demeaning.

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69.8 million families, in this United States, live on Social Security and/or Federal Pension.  Those checks cover anywhere from one to —— people/adults and children in a family.

IF OUR government cannot get its act together, 69.8 million families will not get a check (and that includes the military) on the Third of August.  What will happen????

1. First, no direct deposit or card to pay that money.

2. No deposit, EQUALS, no money to pay the mortgage, utilities, doctors, gasoline, car repairs, house repairs, food, school clothing, book rental.  For one month, we will sit in our HOT homes (my husband has COPD and by the end of the month will most likely be in the hospital.) opening bank statement overdraft fees, and mortgage late payments, and, after the freezer is all melted, canned goods.  Not to speak of the student loan that I could not cancel the automatic withdrawal on in time.  That would certainly rank under the mortgage, if I could have.

3.  The end of the month will see us walking three miles away to have a free dinner at Mother’s Cupboard, well some of us.  My husband could not walk that length even in 70 degree weather.

4.  I will cancel the MRI for my possible crushed disc, in my back that is causing intense cyatic pain.

5.  We will not order medicine that we run out of.

6.  We already cancelled our land line but have a contract on the cell, so I guess they just turn it off without payment, but you still owe it.

7. What happens to your health and life insurance premiums?  I think I have two months before I am in default and lose my health insurance.

8.  Our income is already under $20,000 a year.  We have a nineteen year old with one more semester of high school, long story, he wasn’t being homeschooled when we took him, so he had problems.  One boy was just deployed to Afghanistan and one boy is working in food service and paying his own student loans and gas and food bills.

9.  Just wanted to give you a taste of our world.

MY PROPOSAL:

Every single one of those families need to write to every Congressman, senator, tea party, republican and democrat and send them a bill for the actual and mental damages when this happens.  Maybe that will wake them up.  Do you know a good Class Action lawyer?

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I am a big fan of murder mysteries, so it stands to reason that I would like Law & Order, and now Criminal Minds.  Sometimes you just have to get away from crime.  CNN is the answer in relation to the world now, but if I hear one more reference to the budget, I may have to shoot my screen.  So, for frivolity and the study of the totally warped human mind, I go for “Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress.”  I have no idea why I like it, and I often watch it covertly, so that no one in the house knows I watch it.

In fairness to me, I have been the object of comedy at my endless viewing of the Harry Potter Videos.  I try to turn the sound up and down, as they have a lot of very loud spots and then just talking.  I apologized to the youngest the other night if it woke him up, but he said that no, he liked to hear it as then he could mimic which spot I was currently in with the series.  This goes along with the false voices they ‘do.’  It also made me feel better that I was not irritating the rest of the family, but a source of comedy.  If I watch other movies, I WATCH them.  With Harry Potter, it just lulls me to sleep because, let’s face it, I think I have them memorized.

What would irritate them, besides my bridal gown fetish now, is the two times I have tried to watch things like “Beauty Queen Babies” or “Miniature Dancing Divas.”  I could only take ten and five minutes of each respectively and, OKAY, I cannot remember titles, but you get the picture.  Actually, it should be “Diva who could no more do a dance step than an acrobat one.”  I mean, that woman needs an assistant to demonstrate those moves.

What she also needs is a lesson in positive reinforcement.  She reminds me of one of those coaches who makes football players workout in full uniform in 110 degree weather, until they pass out dead.  These are little kids.  If your kid is that serious about dancing, find a teacher who does not take it into war drills, but who teaches it seriously and in a classy manner.  I applaud those mothers, and I don’t applaud them for much, but I do applaud them for standing up and telling her that those costumes were trashy and the dance was worse.

And, if my kids teacher turned around and said something about children never listening to parents because they don’t know … or whatever it was she said, I would go down to the floor, take my kid by the hand be out of there, and never return.

Which brings me to the wonderful mother on the show about babies in beauty pageants, who did say, at the end of the $10,000 award pageant show, that her daughter was going home and not taking part ever again because she wanted to teach her better values and that she had worth.

Don’t even get me started on “Ice loves Cocoa.”

I really need to go back to reading books.

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Brown County decided to give the kids the day off , from school, for Martin Luther King, Jr., day.  Apparently, we have not used up our snow day allotment, so JCountry is sound asleep, where he prefers to be at 10 a.m.  He is one of those kids who does well on the two-hour delay days, but not so well when he has to catch a bus at 7:30 a.m.

Not to give away my age or anything, but I was a teen in the 60s.  I still have a copy of my letter from President Eisenhower in response to my complaint that it is just stupid that people hated other people because of the color of their skin and he needed to do something about it.  I’m sure I was very polite though, as children of the 50′s were always very polite.  Sometimes, overly polite, like Eddie Haskell polite.  And, if you don’t know who Eddie Haskell is, well, I guess you weren’t there. 

I attended a fairly large school, address Gary, Indiana, called Calumet High School.  I do not know what the facts or figures are, but it ranged from Doctor’s children to children who barely had a home.  It also had a good number of African Americans and Latinos.  This is unlike the school JCountry attends, which (I am guessing here) has less than five non-Anglos in attendance.

My lab partner was an African American girl and I will never forget the day I sat down at our lab table and looked over to see her, head on crossed arms, crying.  That was the first I knew that we were going to have riots.  She told me that some of the kids hated her because she was black.  I was appalled.  I mean, out of all the things in life that you have a choice of, the color of your skin is not one of them.  I comforted her, as best as someone who has not walked in her skin could.

At lunch, I was hit and yelled at by a black student, who I did not know.  By the time we went home on the bus, school was closed.  I think we had three days off to let things settle down and probably let the teacher’s regroup.

I have never understood how people can hold so much hate in their hearts as to hate another person for such a dumb reason.  Nor, how the same people who honor and revere someone like Michael Jordan, can turn around and hate everyone else whose skin is darker than theirs.  

This blog post does not circle back around to the opening.  It has no answers for the question.  I wish I did.  I have learned though, that you cannot change people’s minds much.  If they want to hate someone because they are black, they will.  If they want to hate their President, they will.  If they want to believe every stupid rumor they will.  I just wonder — what can make a person learn to think for themselves and not believe every stupid rumor they hear, no matter how illogical it is.

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To all Sci Fi fans out there.  You better hope there is NO other intelligent life in space.  If there is.  If they find us.  If they come down and begin coating our world with some guey substance so that our wildlife and our ecological system is all mucked up.  Then they sit back on their backsides and wait until we are drowning in this gue.

Well, if that happens, do not expect a speedy response.

You will have to wait for a counter-attack on approval with the state agency, the coastal agency, the federal agency, and those same aliens, before our government does anything to protect us.

Something is so wrong with this picture?

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I have been quiet lately because I feel I have nothing to contribute to what is happening in the world. 

I sit here, with food and water and medical care, at least until March 31st, and am still frustrated by the length of time it takes to get aid to someone in this “modern” world. 

It is a time when our words can circle the globe in a matter of mili-seconds and yet a bottle of water takes five days to arrive.  This disaster of all disasters will perhaps be the launching ground for a new hope of recovery for future disasters.  We watched Katrina and said, “This should never happen again.” Yet, here is another country suffering without water, care and food.

Some think tank needs to sit down and figure out an answer.  Nature will always have a hand to deal to us and we need to be better prepared.

Perhaps we need a league of ships stationed and manned by alternating countries, so that rescue equipment, personnel (medical and rescue), food and water are within one to three days of every port.

That is the third thing I have thought of but the solutions have so many snags, even in my mind, that I am not certain what can be done. 

That is why I have been quiet lately. 

My hope and thoughts are with the Haitians, here and in Haiti.

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I am a big fan of Monk. Tony Shalub acted the part of an Obsessive Compulsive with great  skill, as he does all his parts.  I will miss the show.  However, there is a reality show, based on an Obsessive Compulsive that is absolutely NOT fun to watch.

Jeff Lewis, the lead (gosh, I so want to say ‘lead Cretin’) of the reality show “Flipping Out” is definitely NOT funny or sympathetic or even bearable to watch

I am not sure if there are levels of Obsessive Compulsive or not.  I believe there is because my mother has dealt with it all her life.  She has not let it make her a miserable, mean person to deal with.  She is considerate and compassionate.

Let’s just look at a quote or two from Mr. Lewis.

In discussing an employee, obviously hired (in his mind) as a servant, and who now has her citizenship, he stated:

I have to find a way to get my power back.  I used to dial INS and she would… (here he snapped his fingers, as in jump to kiss his behind.)

The next quote:

We’re a fast paced office here, you gotta be quick. 

This from the man who becomes paralyzed because someone is not carrying his umbrella, for him and to protect him, or a man who becomes less than professional by apologizing for an employee’s hair, or spends two hours of his work time sitting and fretting and haranguing another employee because a new employee is late.

Mr. Lewis is not happy until he has that new employee in tears, then he can get back to work.

Frankly, after watching for those fifteen minutes, I am making a new diagnosis.  Mr. Lewis is NOT OC, he is sadistic, arrogant and rude.  And, I want to know why we are making a tv star/wealthy man out of someone who treats others the way he does.  Here we are again, Home flipper/supposed decorator behaving badly.  And, you know how I hate those “behaving badly” shows.

I wasted fifteen minutes of my life watching Jeff Lewis make big bucks from a television conglomerate.  Frankly, I think they owe me big bucks to give me fifteen minutes of my life back.

The man is an obnoxious turd

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I really hope Margaret will forgive me for submitting her blog here, but I know that if I put a link to it, half of you will not read it and the half that will not read it, really, really needs too.   And, since Margaret gets like 800 comments per post, I figure she will never get to mine to give me permission and when I click on her site for administrator, I literally get thrown back to WordPress. 

So here goes, Blog quoted from Margaret of Margaret and Helen

I remember an America where black men didn’t grow up to be President.

Margaret is it just me or did combing your hair become optional when going out in public?  I’ve been watching news clips of these town hall free-for-alls and we have definitely become a nation of tired,  poor, and huddled masses  clearly tempest-tossed, but without access to a good beauty salon.   Universal Hygiene – now that is something I could get behind.  And all of them are asking for their America back.  I wonder which America that would be?

Would that be the America where the Supreme Court picks your president instead of counting all the votes?  Would that be the America where rights to privacy are ignored?  Would that be the America where the Vice President shoots his best friend in the face?  Or would that be the America where an idiot from Alaska and a college drop-out with a radio show could become the torchbearers for the now illiterate Republican party?

I fear that would not be the America they want back.  I fear that the America they want back is the one where black men don’t become President.

I remember that America.  In that America people screaming at public gatherings were called out for what they were – an angry mob.   Of course, they wore sheets to cover up their bad hair.  Let’s be clear about something:  if you show up to a town hall meeting with a gun strapped to your leg, the point you are trying to make isn’t a good one.  Fear never produced anything worthwhile.

And what’s all this crap about killing your grandmother?  Are you people honestly that stupid?  This has become less an argument about healthcare reform and more a statement about our failed education system.  Margaret, I don’t know what plans you’ve made up there with Howard, but down here with Harold, we have living wills to determine how we will leave this world when the time comes.  Mine states that unless the feeding tube is large enough for a piece of pie, I don’t want to be hooked up to it.  Harold, of course, says his can only be connected to him if the other end is connected to a bottle of single malt scotch.

Now shame on me for making a joke about a serious subject, but if these morons are going to show up and scream at their elected officials, they need to educate themselves about the subject at hand.   No one is planning on killing you or your grandmother with rationed healthcare or death squads.  By the looks of the American citizenry turning out for these town hall meetings,  we’re doing a fine  job of killing ourselves with fast food, cigarettes and an overindulgence of ignorance.

The Founding Fathers couldn’t have seen this coming.  If they had, the right to free speech would have been conditional upon one’s ability to read.  But the  Founding Fathers didn’t plan on the likes of Palin, Cheney and Limbaugh.

I too long for the America I remember as a child, Margaret.  The one where men used guns to hunt quail and women visited a beauty salon at least once a week.  Oh, those were the days. I wish we had them back.  I mean it. Really.”

Thank you Margaret. 

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It is miracle Saturday.  I don’t usually get online on a Saturday; let alone one that is rainy.  So, I thought I would share a bit of my life with you.

When I do get online, one of my favorite blogs is Crazy Aunt Purl.  I have secretly been thinking about living in L.A. a lot lately.  I have no idea why; okay, there is the warmer weather, but I would HATE the traffic.  But, Crazy Aunt Purl wrote a most moving blog on August 17; when the gardeners her landlord hired totally destroyed her garden.  It was an act of vandalism, as far as I am concerned.  My heart  sunk when I saw it, I can only imagine how she felt when she came home and discovered it.  Her rows of beautiful corn, I have four stalks that have yet to reach knee height, and her pumpkin vines are now just like four sticks sticking up, with one tiny pumpkin sitting forelornly in the mud.  How mean can someone be, to do that to a person, after that person has worked for months to put food, they grew, on the table?

Anyway, that is how they grow, with tender loving care, in Sunny L.A.  This has been a cool year and this is how they have grown in rainy, cool, Indiana this year.

baby watermelon

Let’s just hope these striped babies are well hidden from the two orphan fawns that are eating my ripe tomatoes.

My pumpkin patch is creeping out into the grass, which is now impossible to mow without cutting the pumpkins.  It originates from the top o the picture (where the tomato cages are and is growing out to the bottom of the picture, and on the right side, even growing up the side of my studio.

pumpkin patch

And, here is one of my baby yellow pumpkins in this patch.

pumpkin yellow

To end up, I will show you what IS tornado damage.  The expert came out to one house and declared it to be straight wind but my yard was damaged with things falling in a circular pattern throughout.  I have very thick hostas in front of my studio.  I was going to thin them this fall, but this is what I have on one side now. 

damaged hostas

You can see the progressive damage as the wind whipped around.  The sticks at the corner of the studio were full grown hosta just as the one under the window is; even though it is also beaten a bit.  This is one side of the door, the plants on the other side of the door were barely damaged at all.  The tree to the right of this building, past my garden, had a large limb ripped off and it went to the right.  The limb on my roof was knocked to the right, and all around my yard, they were knocked down in that swirl pattern.

My next door neighbor was home during the storm and he heard the freight train sound, so I am presuming the eye went over their house.

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I think I presumed too much with yesterday’s post. Like, the fact that not everyone has had the experience of taking three poorly home schooled children into their home and trying to get them up-to-date with the real world.

Now, let me say this before I get home schooler’s hate mail. I have seen parents who did an EXCELLENT job home schooling. It can be the best thing in the world for some kids. I would have probably thrived with it, myself.

However, that is the best of home schooling and what my three guys had was, well, NOT the best of home schooling. It started out fine. I think it is much easier to home school a third grader than it is a thirteen year old. By the end, with ten (at the time they left) children in the home, schooling became a three month out of the year project.

It is not just the home schooling, it is the isolation of the life they lead and when they hit that age, where they should have had a friend nudge them and say, “You stink, go use deodorant.” or even when they should have had a friend to ride their bike round and round the block with, there was no one there.

What they had was work, and chores, and work. That is not to say work is wrong for a kid. Far from it. I think kids need chores and to learn responsibility and to do things for others. BUT, kids also need fun and they need friends. They need to talk to kids their own age without mom listening into every conversation or picking and choosing those friends.

These guys have had a real hard time telling the good guys from the bad guys in town and they have never ridden their bikes around and around the block with their twelve year old friends. But, the youngest guy is putting a lot of miles on driving his car up and down the drive.

I guess it is something he needs to get out of his system. So, we try not to say too much about it but do tell him when to stop.

All three of these boys have a Clinical Psychologist to talk through their problems and when you have been locked in a closet for a month, with a five gallon bucket for a toilet, there is a lot of talking going on there. Hopefully!

And, to further clarify, when you have grown up like that, isolated from a range of other kids your age, except for the occasional other home schoolers, you can be a bit behind in maturity and drive your car up and down the drive instead of driving your bike around the block.

Now, in fairness to him, he is really excited to have a job and now a car he has purchased with his own money. He will be getting his permit soon and he will be in heaven, because, in Brown County, “a man ain’t a man without a truck.”

Go figure!

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