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Posts Tagged ‘Law & Order’

I am a big fan of murder mysteries, so it stands to reason that I would like Law & Order, and now Criminal Minds.  Sometimes you just have to get away from crime.  CNN is the answer in relation to the world now, but if I hear one more reference to the budget, I may have to shoot my screen.  So, for frivolity and the study of the totally warped human mind, I go for “Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress.”  I have no idea why I like it, and I often watch it covertly, so that no one in the house knows I watch it.

In fairness to me, I have been the object of comedy at my endless viewing of the Harry Potter Videos.  I try to turn the sound up and down, as they have a lot of very loud spots and then just talking.  I apologized to the youngest the other night if it woke him up, but he said that no, he liked to hear it as then he could mimic which spot I was currently in with the series.  This goes along with the false voices they ‘do.’  It also made me feel better that I was not irritating the rest of the family, but a source of comedy.  If I watch other movies, I WATCH them.  With Harry Potter, it just lulls me to sleep because, let’s face it, I think I have them memorized.

What would irritate them, besides my bridal gown fetish now, is the two times I have tried to watch things like “Beauty Queen Babies” or “Miniature Dancing Divas.”  I could only take ten and five minutes of each respectively and, OKAY, I cannot remember titles, but you get the picture.  Actually, it should be “Diva who could no more do a dance step than an acrobat one.”  I mean, that woman needs an assistant to demonstrate those moves.

What she also needs is a lesson in positive reinforcement.  She reminds me of one of those coaches who makes football players workout in full uniform in 110 degree weather, until they pass out dead.  These are little kids.  If your kid is that serious about dancing, find a teacher who does not take it into war drills, but who teaches it seriously and in a classy manner.  I applaud those mothers, and I don’t applaud them for much, but I do applaud them for standing up and telling her that those costumes were trashy and the dance was worse.

And, if my kids teacher turned around and said something about children never listening to parents because they don’t know … or whatever it was she said, I would go down to the floor, take my kid by the hand be out of there, and never return.

Which brings me to the wonderful mother on the show about babies in beauty pageants, who did say, at the end of the $10,000 award pageant show, that her daughter was going home and not taking part ever again because she wanted to teach her better values and that she had worth.

Don’t even get me started on “Ice loves Cocoa.”

I really need to go back to reading books.

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Another blog I am thoroughly enjoying is Wide Awake in Wonderland.

 

I would love to make that kind of trip across Europe; staying in hostels, eating non-gross exotic foods (is there such a thing?), seeing architecture of other countries, etc.  IF, I had someone who spoke many languages, I would just love to travel everywhere.

 

One thing I do have in common with Wonderland blogger is that I have had my own stalker.  Well, he was really my daughter’s stalker and, I hope to everything that keeps me safe, he is now in jail, prison, the mental ward or six feet under, or at the very least, not reading this blog.

 

We didn’t know that daughter of eleven had borrowed $300 from him; when she was only mother of three.  He just started calling up and she would wave me over to listen to the phone conversations. He would tell her exactly where she had been that day, about a wrong turn she made, where she stopped, etc.  It was downright creepy, scary.

 

At the time he drove some type of tanker truck with some noxious stuff in it so part of his threat was that he would drive it into our house.

 

We went to the police station, we called the police, they came out and time after time the cops would be like,

 

“Oh, all right.”  He said, feet resting on his desk. 

 

Then, the cop would amble off to get the guy’s police record.  You could see them in the back room sometimes, joking with another officer, “Got another one.” Type of thing and then — then he would pull the report out of the printer and he would come back all business and warning us we were in danger.

 

I never did get to see one of those reports but I sure would  love to. 

 

By the third or fourth night of sitting up all night with a shotgun in my lap, an officer knocked on the door and I put the gun up on a high cabinet.  When the officer came in, I informed him that it was there and loaded.

 

“Are you willing to use it?” He asked.

 

“Absolutely.” I told him. “I will not hesitate to shoot anyone who comes into my house to harm my children or grandchildren.”

 

He then proceeded to tell me how to shoot the stalker while he was still outside and pull his body in.  Obviously, he was old school and did not watch Law & Order.  I don’t think it was even on at that time.  But, the officer didn’t know much about blood spatter evidence, obviously.

 

In the end, the Judge threw the guy in jail for seventy-two hours and warned us that we had to use that time to pack up our life and move. There was no stalking law back then and he told us flat-out that we were not safe from this man.  We had to disappear.

 

So we did. 

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I have not visited my search terms in a while. I do occasionally glance at them but it’s not too interesting but, this morning there were a couple that stopped me in my tracks.

 

“How much do Chihuahua way”:  Now, I’m not really big on spelling or on punctuation, but You can spell Chihuahua but you can’t spell weigh?  If you are a foreign speaking person, my most humble apologies.  I have tried to learn foreign languages and you have my sympathy, as well.

 

Fondling mom:   Okay, now that’s just sick.  How did that lead anyone to my site?

 

Fondling sleeping mom:  Sick and perverted, people!

 

Pringles can abuse:  I have written about making Pringle can, pinhole cameras and I have written about child abuse. But, this takes me places I don’t want to go and leaves an image in my head, I don’t want to have.  Oh, where my mind takes me.  Perhaps they are just interested in abusing Pringles’ cans?  Just step on it.

 

Cheryl klein bill gates: Okay, Ms. Klein, is there something going on we do not know????

 

Airplane wear Hawaii:  What can I say to that?   Airplane wear??? For Hawaii?? Or An airplane wears Hawaii.  Sounds painful.

 

Rabbit lips case: I know rabbits are not on the endangered species list but would you really kill a rabbit for a case? I mean it would have to be a small case. They don’t have a lot of lip.  OR is this in conjunction with some Law & Order case.  “The case of the missing Rabbit’s lips.”  I should go check visiting bunny now because maybe she is sitting in her food dish and pooping because someone stole her lips.  It would be tough to scream out “HELP! Someone stole my lips. If you didn’t have any.

 

Can you leave dead cows on property?  Okay, folks, I posted once about a dead cow on a piece of property daughter-of-eleven was looking at but, you know, I am not an expert on what to do with dead cows.  I imagine you can leave them on the property but geesh, would you really want to??? Get a shovel!

 

Drunk driving men vs. women:  I gotta tell you.  Whether man or woman, they are not going to drive really well while drunk.

 

Anthony Bourdain in jail:  Maybe that should have been Anthony Bourdain eating pigs heads and I’m sure he has spent time there, in jail not in a pig’s head, most likely in the drunk tank.  On second thought, I’ve seen him find pig’s head on the buffet and he might spend time in them.

 

And, my top search term:   Come on everyone out there say it with me —- TA DA!!

 

Viggo Mortensen

Viggo

Mortensen

Viggo Mortenson:

Viggo Mortensen girlfriend

viggo mortensen august 2008 girlfriend d

 

In any spelling, in any form, the guy is #1.   As Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom knows.

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This morning, I was working on a humorous post for today, in my continuing effort to bring the word humor above FLDS in my tag clouds, but it is growing into an epic novel and not that funny of one either. And, to top it off, the sky is darkening and I have just heard thunder.

When it rains in Indiana, as it does a lot, we lose our totally unreliable phone service. We actually do not lose it, we join the 19th century by gaining party lines. The other day I heard a whole conversation about someones furniture, while repeating, “Can you hear me? Can you hear me?” Obviously, I could hear them but they couldn’t hear me. Sometimes I can talk to the other party, I met a neighbor on our road through our party line. 

Rarely is this State conducive to being On-line. The Internet does not like wet phone lines. The sky darkens and the Satellite goes out too. This is usually timed perfectly by the sky Gods. Always, it goes out the last ten minutes of the only Law & Order I have never seen before. Since Law & Order, and all of its initials, is on constantly at our home, I imagine the odds of this happening are fairly large.

As I wrote that last sentence, I was kicked off the internet. No Joke! Honest! I immediately hit print screen, because I didn’t know when I saved last. I am in the habit of saving constantly already but this problem has made it even more important.

Indiana probably has more laptops, per capita, than any other state, so that when the electricity goes out, as it does approximately four times a month, we do not lose our work product.  Seriously, I kept track for several months of power outages and it did; four times each month. Anyway, with a laptop and battery back up, you swear a lot less when the electricity surges and dies.

So, I shall go now and light my hurricane lamp as I wait for the power to go out. I shall fill a kettle of water, to boil for when the water main breaks, yet again. And, as I say adieu to you nice Internet folk, I am safe in the knowledge that terrorists will never strike Indiana. Why bother? We’re disintegrating all on our own.

UPDATES:  will be posted because it is hard to believe but true: I was not real diligent in noting these down but here is just a sampling.

March 2008: 6th: electricity out 6:15 am to 9:30 am : June 8th: came home to boil order but that was due to the flood:  31st: Electricity on and off five times till it went out at 6:45 pm (I think this is the time it was out all night and well into the next day. Ice on Brown County trees are not conducive to power. )

April 2008: 6th, electricity on and off numerous times

May 2008: 1st, water main broke,

June 2008: 3rd, Electric out one time: 4th, electric out 7pm to 6 am: 13th electric out 4:45 to 7:45; 30th, Sunny sky, light wind. Electricity out from 12:05 to 2:20 pm. Odd because it just went out. Usually it goes on and off a few times before staying out.

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