Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

There are days when I just avoid life. I should go out and walk around the yard or go to the park or something, but “noooo.” What do I do? I decide to waste a precious hour of my life on an idiot program like Bridezillas. On those days, I worry about my own sanity.

It’s like watching a train wreck. You just cannot look away. How anyone can behave like that is beyond belief. And, I sit there and wait for someone to shake some sense into them, or slap them in the face, or, at the very least walk out on them. But, that is not going to happen. If it did the show would have twenty minutes of dead air time.

What also amazes me is that anyone, who behaves that bad, would allow cameras to record it for posterity. Well, that is not the only thing that amazes me. It amazes me that any man has so little self respect that he would marry a woman like that. Even if he did not realize it before, he should know it by two weeks before that wedding and dump her sorry “you know what.”

I never knew that a wedding was “All about me” either. I always thought it was a celebration of marriage and a commitment to each other. You know, it takes two to make a wedding/marriage. One day you meet the person with whom you want to share all the trials and tribulations and joys of life. Hopefully, you meet someone who makes you a better person and feels the same about you. Unfortunately, all too often, that does not work, but that is not the discussion here, although, maybe it should be because all the grooms of Bridezilla’s would then get smart and walk out.

Is it possible that the “wedding money making machine” has created this? Is “having things so lavish that everyone who walks in the room knows you have more money than…” Well, Bernie Madoff comes to mind. Is that all a wedding is about now?

Come on people, take that $20,000, or more, and put it down on a house. Or, Take $18,000 of it and spend $2,000 on a trip somewhere. Otherwise, it’s over the next day and statistics seem to be that you are divorced in a few years and what was the point after all?

Hey, could it be that if the goal of the whole day is to cement your love into a marriage, and you just had this little ceremony, with a few close friends, could it maybe mean you have your priorities straight and you will not add to those divorce statistics?

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Now that I am back lifting weights, I am back to reading a fitness blog. Happily Ever After ? Cranky Fitness is my favorite and the blogged linked to here is a great blog about choosing your life’s partner.  I am not sure what that has to do with getting in shape — Oh, wait!  I know. 




It has to do with sitting around getting fat because your mate sits around, getting fat and you do not have the willpower to say no to pizza four times a week; and you do not want to do things while he can only sit.  It has to do with eating chocolate because it is illegal to strangle your husband to make him shut up for just ten lousy minutes, please!  It may even have to do with going to the refrigerator at 10:00 pm and eating because, well, just because. 



Since I was a child, my mother has said that I have to learn my lessons the hard way, by making mistakes, and I have made a lot of mistakes in my life.  Not the least of which was getting married at a young age. 


That is not to say that the the early marriage did not benefit me.  I have a wonderful, intelligent human being as a daughter, and another one who is very mixed up, but I would say that I walked away from it being on a good basis with my ex-husband, who was also very young when we married, and also being a better person than I was when we met.



I have made several more mistakes since then, okay, a lot more than several, but we are talking in relationships here.   Okay, a few of them were mistakes too.



But Cranky Fitness’ blog was based on a University of Iowa study that had men and women list, in order of importance, the characteristics they feel are important for a life partner. But, when it comes right down to it, it is not so much who they are; pretty, good provider, good housekeeper, etc, as it has to do with who you are when you are with them. 



If, and we hope this is true, you have been dating them for a while, can you look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I am a better person now, than when we met.”  If not, keep looking.



Oh, and you should also affect them in a positive way so that they are a better person than when you met. 


For what that is worth!

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As marriages do, my parent’s marriage was up and down. First they had their years when dad was ruler and monarch. Then, they had their years where they were happy square dancing around northern Indiana. Things kind-of-went sour when mom decided she did have a brain and wanted to use it, and dad did not like losing his kingdom. Their retirement years, in Arkansas, were spent with dad either in his recliner and mom off playing cards or them taking friends and relatives out on the pontoon boat.

I always enjoyed the story of how they met; long before internet dating.
Just out of high school, my mother took a job as a waitress. The first restaurant she worked at was in Hammond, Indiana. It was the kind of restaurant where she would clear the table and take the plates back to the kitchen and they would cut where the customer bit off the pork chop, reheat it and serve it to the next diner. Talk about re-gifting! If the meat was too small to serve again, they would just cut it up and use it the next day in a stew. I think we may all say a “thank you” to our own state’s Health Department for not allowing that to go on anymore.

Mom’s work ethic made an impression on the owners of the restaurant across the street. Who, by the way, did NOT reserve meat. They coaxed her away by promising more money and that she would not have to clean the bathroom. So, she went to work for the Indiana Barbeque in Hammond, Indiana.

Mom was happy working at the Indiana Barbeque. One evening a man walked in and mom looked up and said, “That’s the man I will marry.” She said that she just knew. He sat down, at the counter and asked for ‘mashed potatoes.’ He told her he had tried every restaurant in town and no one served them. It just so happened, that her boss had made them for his own dinner that night and had extra left, so dad got his mashed potatoes.

When dad left, mom found a circle of penny’s under his plate, for her tip. The extra effort it took to do that let her know he liked her too. They never served mashed potatoes again but she spent fifty-five years making mashed potatoes for that man.

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I have just undertaken a major endeavor. It’s not like I have no other “projects” in the works.  I made a list of these projects, for this post, but when I reached project number 14, I was getting depressed and it was definitely not a funny list, so we’ll pass on that.


The new project I have is to scan in all photo albums and pictures, of family—in my possession.  Master’s Daughter has all my home movies and is putting them on DVD’s.  So, this is the least I can do.  We could have a race to see who will finish first, but I’m afraid the projects may outlast us.


So, not finding a lot of humor lately—I mean, I got home from a seven day trip and the house was clean (as clean as it gets), the rabbit and dog were fed (although the dog did spend one day sleeping so sound, I am told, that when she was not snoring they checked her to make sure she was alive.)  EMT boy has found a job and JRockGuitarMan is living up to his nom de plume (is that how you spell that?) and expanding his guitar playing with lessons from a more advanced student.


So, I am combining my new endeavor, the photos, with blogging.  My family is such a font of humor, who could resist.

This is a picture taken not too long after my mom and dad were married.  I believe she may have a picture of the day they married and I will replace this with that when I get hold of it.  Visions of a young girl and marriage in a white gown turned into a woman who wore a suit and married my father in front of a Justice of the Peace. 


The J.P. was also a gas station owner and they married in front of the pumps and, when mom looked down, he had a hole in the toe of his sneakers.


My mother is eighty-six now, and this hole in the toe of his shoe is still an insult to her. But, her main gripe is probably my father’s actions after the ceremony.  Dad believed he was boss.


On the way to his parents home, where they were going to stay, dad stopped the car and told mom to open her purse.  He then reached in and took out her mascara and threw it out the window.  Dad never quit trying to be boss after that and, about fifteen years later, mom finally decided he was not going to be boss.


Mother relates that her first thoughts, after his actions were, “What have I done? This is for life? I can’t get out of this?”


Twenty-five years later, they celebrated their anniversary with four of their eventual ten grandchildren.  The little sweetie at the bottom left, hosted their fiftieth anniversary in her backyard, complete with a faux wedding ceremony, without a gas station pump and a man with his toe sticking out of his sneaker.

Joyce, Jamie, Toni (in arms) & Johnny

Mom and Dad, 25th anniversary, with grandchildren: Joyce, Jamie, Toni (in arms) & Johnny

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I have found the coolest blog.  

(AND, i will share it with you once I get this %##%# font thing worked out.  Sorry, if you are trying to read it and I am constantly “fixing” it; and then there is the little matter of AOL cutting me off constantly. )

But, isn’t it neat when you feel like you have made a major “world shattering” discovery, right at your own computer? 

 I stumbled across Mr. Barlow’s Blog yesterday morning.  It wasn’t really too far of a fall, since WordPress featured it on their front page and I was able to click it before it flipped to some other “featured” blog.

 This guy’s got some Seriously interesting stuff on his site.

Like this: A “water bear” who can survive in space. He is the first known animal to be able to do so, although I think calling him an animal is a bit of a stretch. I also think Mattel should make a “Water Bear” toy for Christmas consumption.

He’s an adorable little guy really.

And, as if that isn’t enough, it is confirmed that people tend to marry people who resemble their mother. This brings up a whole set of: mother-in-law jokes, Freudian Psychology and eHarmony. 


Have you ever noticed on eHarmony’s “successful matches” advertisements that the couples look more like brother and sister than anything? I have always suspected that we tend to marry is probably doomed to failure.  
Trust me on this one.


Okay, it is noon , and I just reread this post and TALK ABOUT FREUDIAN SLIPS!!!  I’m not even sure, what I was trying to say with that sentence about marriage and “doomed to failure.”   I did notice once though that my husband, other than having blond hair instead of dark hair, was the spitting image of an ex-boyfriend.


And, I think that what I meant was that successfully married people often resemble each other.  I shall go now and bang my head on the wall.

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