Posts Tagged ‘Macaroni’

Master’s daughter, a/k/a BrainDebris on WordPress, has graciously shared her phenominal memory with me, and given me a list of reminders so that I may write about grandma.  The first one, Macaroni and Tang caused me to laugh out loud; just those few words. And, I will share with you in a minute why I laughed, but some of the things on the list are just are not jogging my memory.

Like what is the Dress Boobs story? Was that cloth hankies instead of kleenex? Lace hankies, maybe. Mom does tend to keep her kleenex in her bra and sometimes a breadcrumb trail of them everywhere she has been, but I’m stumped by Dress Boobs?????

This issue fits in with another notation on the list: Nasal spray, kleenex, and bras. Mom was addicted to nasal spray. She has the worse sinus infection in the world, and it has lasted for forty years or more now. I think she puts off getting something done about it because she heard that surgery would give you two black eyes, and how would that look with her lipstick?  But, that’s not hilariously funny.  I think you should keep these stories daughter as my memory is shot.

I have to return the list of Grandma’s stories to Master’s Daughter. Especially since I have no idea what Flip Flops and hidden socks is.  Oh, wait, it just hit me, honest. It was all because Dad was quite convinced that mom’s washing of his clothing was the reason his clothing wore out.  If mother would just not wash it so much, he would have socks of steel that lasted for decades. So, dad took to hiding his socks. First, he would stuff them up his pants leg at night, so she wouldn’t collect them off the floor. When she got onto that trick, he got more creative. As time went on, she would have to search drawers and under beds for the illusive, but durable, dirty underwear. 

I am willing the following stories back to Master’s daughter, but I’m keeping the three last because I do remember them. Feel free, BrainDebris to add comments.

Ziplocs at the Wedding buffet
Before there were paper shredders
Aunt Lydia’s zucchini: I do remember, but I’m pretty sure you will tell it better
Aerosol deoderant: Ditto
The infamous bedspread: Hey that’s your story already, not mine to tell
and thou shalt not fart: OH YEAH!!

The 21 year baby book: I actually did tell this one a few days ago (July 2: Moms Cloud Tags, apparently they have to leach out of my brain in their own good time. Again, I’m sure there is more to the story that my daughter could add. She could dramatize her sorrow at being the only child not having a completed baby book. But, don’t let her fool you, she had a perfectly good zip lock full of bits of paper memories.

Macaroni and Tang: I have mentioned before that mom has a bit of an obssessive compulsive problem. She also has a fear of insects. I probably have memory problems because mom used so many pesticides, as I was growing up, that it damaged my brain.

Mom and dad retired to Arkansas, and as anyone knows who has lived in the South, there are a LOT of bugs. HUGE BUGS! Her house in Arkansas sported numerous hanging stripes of poison; which have since been taken off the market. To this day, she laments that she cannot find a hanging poison strip.

In a continuing effort to keep bugs out of food, mom took to saving glass jars. Salteens were taken out of their packaging and put in glass jars. Tang was taken out of it’s container and put in a glass jar. Now, why anyone would even buy Tang, to begin with, is a mystery to me. Mom was a lady of the fifties though and she had probably found a cake recipe to make using Tang. She has them for Mayonaise Cake and Fruit Cocktail cake and they are both, actually, very good. But, everything was taken out of it’s packaging and put in glass jars; which is what led to the Macaroni and Tang incident.

She had a glass jar of macaroni (taken from Mac & cheese box) but she could not put the cheese packets in it as that would have contaminated the macaroni. Okay, it comes that way in the box, but —.  Then, for some totally unexplainable reason, she did not just put the cheese packets in a jar but took the cheese out of the packets and put that in a jar. Anyone see where I am going with this???

One day, she had company and decided to make the children Macaroni and Cheese. The “cheese” was just not blending in like usual, so she added quite a bit more than she thought she should have to. When she served it, children all around the table spit it out, with unanimous “Ehuwwwws!”. You see, cheese from Mac and Cheese looks exactly the same as Cheese and Tang. She had served Macaroni and Tang and her grandchildren still talk about it to this day.

Of course, it’s not as bad as her friend who TWICE, not just once, but TWICE, cooked her frozen pizza upside down. I’m telling you that whole era is damaged from the bug strips. 

I believe I shall save, badonkadonk waiter for a future post.

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