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Posts Tagged ‘America’s Dumbest Criminals’

I know I promised info on my Harry Potter visit today.  I am sooooo sorry to disappoint Xup.  I am sure she was really looking forward to reading about Harry Potter, but this is just too funny to wait. 

EMT, with his honor roll graduation, decided to get his motorcycle driver’s license.  His Big Brother, from the Big Brother program had an extra bike at his house and they wanted to ride together. 

This is EMT’s story and he has a dry way of telling stories and this is exactly how he told it to me.  That is, it is exactly how he told it to me AFTER he told me about the ride, and his Big Brother’s marital problems and all the little stuff of the day.  Then, it was, “Oh, and by the way…

They drove to the south side of Indianapolis.  It was time to gas up and return home.  EMT was returning from paying for the gas, mounted up and put the key in the ignition when a man stepped up to him with a knife and said, “Get Off!  I want your bike.”

EMT tells me at that point that he knew all he had to do was keep the guy talking and he would be fine.  I said, “I have always told you that no money or possession is worth messing with a guy with a knife or a gun.  Just get off and give him the bike.”

EMT said.  “I didn’t have to worry because there was a police car recording the incident and the cop, gun drawn, was two feet behind him.”

Just another day in the life of EMT.

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EMT has had a health problem lately and passed out twice yesterday.  The second time was around 10:30pm and off we went to the emergency room, again.

He requested the ER in Franklin, Indiana; as an EMT with experience in these things.  And, he was right. That had to be the most efficient ER I have seen. Triage was immediate.  Before he could fall asleep, they were in drawing blood and taking an EKG.  The doctor was in next and ordred at CaT Scan.  We were out in an hour, I bet, not counting drive time and the delay in checking out.

The delay is because of a drunk.  How interesting to see two uniformed Police Officers and just about every person on staff, surrounding a drunk.  A drunk who has to be one of the stupidist drunks in town.

First, the guy is at a bar and calls police on his cell phone to report a disturbance.  Ordinarily, I would consider that a wise move, except he was the one who was making the disturbance.  America’s Dumbest Criminals, move over, this one called  to turn himself in.  

So, he is screaming the whole time he is in the ER; privacy laws not withstanding.  His mouth just went on and on.  He was yelling at the officers because they made him poop.  The big one, the officer not the poop (thankfully, I did not have to see that.), but the big officer who scared him was all of 5’6″ probably.  Of course, the drunk was a pretty scrawny guy, and very drunk. 

Then, he was mad at the hospital because he never went to the ER before and left without pills and “goll darn it.”  he wanted pills.  Just what he needed on top of probably twenty beers.  I’m sure the officers at the jail, which he was on his way to, would have let him keep those pills too.  Right!

The final words I heard from the hospital staff was, “And, it’s not even Friday night.”

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