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Presenting Teachers in: BUTTS ON ICE « Braindebris\’s Weblog

via Presenting Teachers in: BUTTS ON ICE « Braindebris\’s Weblog

Today is the one year anniversary of the last post on the Braindebris Blog.  Now, I may be prejudice, since Braindebris is my brilliant daughter, but I think that her short blogging history is some of the funniest stuff you will ever read.

You just have to check out the holiday blog:  “Deer on, Deer off, the Clapper”  and  the  one about cleaning the rabbit’s cage.   They will make your day.

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January was the month of cataract surgery.   Now, if you want a rocking good time just try cataract surgery.  Nothing to dull the edge.  Hold your body stiff as a board because, as the doc talks about his latest trip or race or why there is the smell of burning electrical wire in the room, should you move your head a milimeter, just what could the consequences be??

I had no desire to find out.  So, I found that every muscle in my body was rigid as I lay there watching water swirl in my right eye.  Which was the eye that had some pain with the surgery.  After having one eye done, the second eye was well, easier.  No pain.  But, I counted  and confirmed that it did take more than 2 minutes to do the surgery.

That being dwelt on enough in this blog, I am counting off the days till my vision is totally clear.  I am sure the steroid drops, still in one eye, are not helping my vision; which is said to be 20/20 now. 

I did see the moon the other night.  For the first time in my life, I looked up and saw the moon clearly without any glasses.

Now, that was cool!!!

I will be back to posting regularly in about two weeks, when I am done with eye drops and get a pair of reading glasses.  Right now I am using this credit card sized plastic magnifier to read.  Not cool!

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Apparently, after going on the internet on my daughter’s luxurious high speed, at Christmas, my new Dell computer, with Windows 7, came home and went on strike and said,

“No Way. You can cry. You can stomp your feet. You can install and uninstall aol a billion times but I am NOT going online dialup with AOL.”

The computer has spoken. I took it to the library to gently cajole it into AOL on high speed. NOPE! Well, on high speed it was okay but it was not fooling around.   Even after I downloaded AOL 9.5, I brought it home and it resides in a loop.

It says, “AOL will now install. ….”

Then, it says, “You need to restart your computer.”

Then, it says, “AOL will now install….”

Then, it says, “You need to restart. . . etc, etc, etc, over and over and over.

Anyway, even my desktop wasn’t working for about four days. I think it was too cold in the house. Maybe that’s why everyone was complaining, “IT’s TOO COLD IN THE HOUSE.”  Despite which I have a $400 heating bill.

So, that is where I have been, that and at doctors and hospitals, as husband continues his month long battle with pneumonia.  

Next post, the joys of letting a doctor dig in your eyeball.  Not for the squeamish.

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So, idiot savant that I am, yesterday I get a message that this Gateway, with VISTA, is out of room, and they were not talking about my house.  That, I could understand. 

I began looking at what was on the computer, as hardly anything installs on this VISTA.  But, guess what?  I had two full versions of VISTA on it and four files with between 1.25 GB and 3.836 GB from VISTA backups or something.  

THEN:

I Google it, find a site about removing duplicate VISTA, download the program, follow the directions, restart the computer and it’s ALLLLLLL gone.  Okay, not quite all, the VISTA installs, every blinkin’ one of them, are still there, but my programs and such are gone. 

It is not that this is such a big deal, as the only installs I had on it were Word and Jasc Paint Shop Pro.  Coffee Cup would not install, even downloading it.  And, everything I have is on backup disc.  But, I still have all this VISTA on here.  And, everything I go to do, such as write a spectacularly hilarious blog from my notes, is gone. 

I shall go troll other blogs now and perhaps get inspired, as opposed to frustrated.

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Sorry about that last post, but we cannot be funny all the time.  “We” as in us, you and me, and not as in “We, the Queen” or anything.   But, I am all done doing my own yelling bad behavior now and I have a question.

Just who or what is ivan pacicevic and how did that ever bring anyone to my site?

It is rather fun to say, or try to say: Ivan (with a Natasha accent) Pac-ice-vic, Pa-cic-evic.  I think I shall take it written down to daughter’s house and we can drink Bailey’s and try to pronounce it.

Searches today that led to my site:

food joy 2
my keys are stuck on numeric 1
“ivan pavićević” 1
chemistry of photography 1
bronchitis and inhaler 1
painting with developer 1

Someone needs to hurry today, because no one has searched Viggo for the whole day to get here. 

Yesterday

Search Views
pinhole camera film canister 2
viggo mortensen girlfriend 2
how do you teach someone to think 1
bronchitis inhaler doesn’t work 1
swollen finger 1

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There are two people in our family who are just so funny that you love to be around them and often the comment is heard, “if we could get Sharon and Carol together one day, we would die from laughter.” 

Sharon lives in Indiana and Carol in Wisconsin, so it has not happened yet, but Sharon has begun blogging.  She was shamed into it really by a couple of bloggers, okay, me  and her friend.  She tried her hand, Just who are you people? « Braindebris’s Weblog, and was (as we suspected) hysterical.  She is one of ‘those’ people, who if she wrote regularly enough would be publishing a book.  She is that funny, just check out the The Immortal Rabbit « Braindebris’s Weblog if you want to split a gut.

She took a long break from blogging, much to our disgust, and is back now on a weekly blog schedule.  You would think she has a life or something!  She also mentioned it takes a good hour to put a blog post together.  Who knew!   

So, this morning, I checked how her weekend was and she brought up the often mysterious workings of the blogosphere and the people who take the time to read your blog but rarely write comments. 

My readership is not huge, it has dropped since I have gotten less regular in posting. However, in the beginning, when my readership would hit 1,000 for the month, I never had commenters, other than one.  There were 999 people out there lurking.   XUP always comments, all the way from Canada.  Aren’t you ashamed fellow Americans?  I have to get comments from Canada.  Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom often commented, but I have been really remiss commenting on their blog lately.  Don’t you love that name though!

 I have also been blogging a bit less lately myself, as I work on my eternal update to my website.  I feel like one of those people on the commercial, staring wide eyes, pupils dilated from staring at the screen, mind numb … anyway, you get the not pretty picture.  I only have one section left to go on the website and am soooo look forward to it being done.

This morning, here is a copy my monthly stats.  Notice the slow decline.

So, I checked Search terms. 

“no blood for oil Viggo” – as in Viggo Mortensen, no surprise there. Half of my readership is searching for “Viggo” –  Talk about stalkers! 

“Worms …” – EUWWW! especially when in the house. 

“actor with low ears” –  Okay, is this person casting a movie?  I have written about actors, and I have written a post due to the lovely commercial based on the old song “do your ears hang low. ” But, I have NEVER written about an actor with low ears.  I am not even sure why you would want to find an actor with low ears.

 

In an effort to raise my stats, I realize that I have three sure winners:

  • Viggo Mortensen
  • photography
  • Movie reviews

Okay, Viggo Mortensen is hot and I do understand the fascination.  He keeps his private life mysterious and he’s hot and he likes dark chocolate and he’s hot.  What more could you want?  The only thing is, I do not actually know Mr. Mortensen (I love his name by the way— Viggo Mortensen—-it’s lyrical.  This is coming from someone named VanVleck.  Not so lyrical.

So, I shall now vow to make more of an effort to review movies about Viggo Mortensen and you, my kind readers (numbers 13 to 30 and occasionally 1,000) shall occasionally drop me a line to let me know what you like, or do not like, on my blog.

Oh, and I will try not to be a stalker myself.

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Mom loves the sound of words and putting words together to rhyme. Me, I love the flow of words and how they can touch your soul.  Mom never forces her words to rhyme.  She is a very good rhyming poet,Padairvanvleck’s Weblog in my humble and unbiased opinion.  But, frankly,  I think that words rhyming is a bit unnatural.

So, this morning I go online and check my Master Daughter’s blog, Braindebris’s Weblog as I do each morning dear, “Where are you?”, and through my head runs, repeatedly:

Well, it was three really good rhyming lines about checking your blog in the morning.  You know, blog-log-sog, I know they were probably award-winning, since I cannot remember a word of them.  But, like a broken record, they were in my brain for way too long.

 Then, I’m looking for my password book (yes, I know, you are not supposed to write them down) and I’m going—

My password book is always lost

 One day it’s here
 The next it’s there
 And some days it’s not anywhere?

And, now I say–

Dr. Seuss, I am not.
If this keeps up
My brain will rot.

P.S.  Maybe it is too late and my brain rotted during the night and all day everything I say will rhyme that way.    HELPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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It may seem as though, with cell phones, CNN, FaceBook, MySpace and Twitter that we are more connected than we ever were.  But, we are really just more connected with a small group of people and less connected with our own world.

It always makes me feel sad to be in a restaurant and see a parent spending quality time with their child by spending the whole meal, talking on the cell phone while their child sits there alone, eating their own lunch with no one to talk to. 

People, if you are going to take your child to lunch, I do not care if they are five or twenty-five, turn the phone off and get to know them.  You can return the call when the meal is over, but you only have a short time to connect with your child.  You cannot go home and yell at them for something you feel they should not have done, if you cannot take time to get to know who they are.

I shall step down off my soapbox now and get back to updating my website. 

Thank you!

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My Master’s Daughter, yes XUP this is MY daughter, not some Master of Tai Kwan Do’s daughter, or Master Chef’s daughter.  She is “MY” oldest daughter and she graduated with a straight A average for her Masters degree in education, so she is “my master’s daughter” and she is back to contributing to the blogosphere.

She is my favorite blog.  Sorry,  XUP but she is my daughter and  she is also the funniest person on this earth, and we are talking a lot of very funny people:

Like Crazy Aunt Purl

and Cake Wrecks

and even Blog | Anthony Bourdain

But, this girl was born seeing the world through funny eyes and her blog is the best ever; daughter or no daughter.  I mean, how many people can find a ton of laughs in cleaning a rabbit cage.  Braindebris’s Weblog.  And, I am talking tears running down my cheeks, laughing so hard I cannot talk now at the picture she has painted of her misadventures cleaning the rabbit cage.  You just gotta read it.

I would also like to point out that the other day I admitted to her:

Under the pressure to be witty and informing on Twitter, I am now cannibalizing your BrainDebris blog and stealing lines.  Oh, the humiliation.
And, now, she begins writing again, after a long absence.  Coincidence?  I think not!!!
HMMM!  There’s this little message at the bottom of her blog in size 3 font.  What does it say????
This blog is property of Braindebris@wordpress.com so back away from that copy/paste bucko and think for yourself!
The little smart aleck!  Guess I’m on my own with Twitter.

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I am on AOL dial-up.  The price is right, at $10.00 a month, and it really does not matter.  I am one of those rural people who is waiting to catch up to the 21st century.  Our phone lines, literally, become party lines when it rains.  There is no high speed.

You can be on the phone and hear a neighbors phone dialing, then the neighbor talking about their son being arrested.  Seems to me that AT&T is breaking some privacy law by not fixing it.  I’ve tried everything else to get it fixed, maybe that will work??? I doubt it.

A friend emailed me the other day. 

Your AOL email response has really messed up my computer!
 
The whole thing has slowed down to a crawl. I did a Spybot cleanup and rebooted, but now my browzer is AOL, there is some kind of AIM Buddy program running my screens, Mozilla Firefox has taken over the PC and even my task bar and desktop are messed up with AOL stuff !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 Please don’t respond to my emails using AOL.  Could you please contact AOL and get then to stop this kind of thing?”

Okay, what dream world does he live in that he thinks that AOL will actually listen to me and fix this issue?  First, no one else, that I have emailed, has complained.  Second, I have a virus scan that runs every time I go online.  Thus making it necessary for me to turn it on and go do dishes as it devours all my RAM.  But, ensuring it is not a virus.    Third, $10 a month!!! Do you think AOL really cares what I say?

The next day, I got this email.

I’m back on line!
 
It took a few hours but I was able to removed all of the AOL and Foxfire stuff, clean out the cookies, remove the desktop and kill the startup file programs.
 … 
 Anyway, I’ve never had problems with email from Hotmail (Microsoft), so could you please create a hotmail account  and write back?  It’s free, too.”

I agree with almost everything he says.  AOL had to do some community service recently for adding stuff to the email, so I really do not know what this was about, but since I cannot write him back, I thought I would let him know on my blog.

I currently have one website, three blogs, Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace.  All of which have passwords.  That does not count the bank, Barnes & Noble, the pharmacy and I am just at the B’s.  I counted and I am up to 23 passwords and I am in the C’s.   I am at password overload. 

You are not supposed to use one password, nor use anything that might be public knowledge (birthdays, kids names, etc), nor keep them written down (YEAH RIGHT!).  I did see a neat trick about doing it with your keyboard.  I figure that since I saw it on CNN, then so did all the creeps who steal stuff, so what good is that?

Anyway, Jes, next time I can get on my website email (it did not work yesterday), I will write.  Just don’t hold your breath waiting for AOL to listen to me.

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