I was recently told by my heart doctor that he had never told me my heart was functioning at a low percentage. Now, I was delighted to hear this. It has acted like a sugar pill to give me energy that I could not tap into the day before. Embarrassed, am I? Yes! Glad I am wrong? Yes! Happy with my memory? NO! NO! NO!
I always worked extra hard in school. I had a poor memory and knew it. I was thrown under a dash when I was two and standing up in the front seat of the car. This was before seat belts. I am pretty sure it is the root cause of my neck problems, so possibly I hit my head also.
I have literally gone blank several times, in my life. I once dropped daughter-of-eleven off to get her hair done and when I pulled away from the curb, I was a blank slate. The only thing I knew was that if I drove straight and left, I should get back to somewhere I knew. Luckily, I was right. I’m not even sure if I knew who I was. Ironically, I do not remember now, what I did not remember then, either. I do know that I had no idea where I lived, if someone had asked. Fortunately, no one did.
The other time was on the ski slopes. It was kegger/college break week. And, NO, I was not participating. This is THE worse time to be on the slopes, and I was on a catwalk. Catwalks make me nervous. There is only one direction to go and people just fly on them. I woke up lying down on the catwalk with a woman’s face inches above mine asking, “Are you alright?”
Tell me why it is that when we fall down we are embarrassed? It is not something we do intentionally. And, in looking back at the incident, I do not believe that I fell down. I think I passed out.
But, I immediately told her that I was just fine and then proceeded to get up and follow a stranger because, that time, I knew I had no idea who I was, where I was or even where I lived. I followed the first man I saw looking at me, and who talked to me. (This is a bad habit I have.) He too asked me if I was alright and I followed him. Lesson, girls, do NOT follow the first man who looks at you or inquires into your health.
However, it happened to be my husband and I asked him, “Do we live in Colorado?” Now, mountains covered with snow all tend to look alike, from the standing-on them angle, but for some idiot reason, out of all the things I did NOT know, I knew we were in Colorado. Then, I inquired as to whether my two daughters were with us? A couple of questions like that and, quick fellow that he is, he cottoned onto the fact that I was definitely NOT alright.
Fortunately, my memory lapse lasted only about ten minutes and was over by the time we found a medic.
I have gone to see two different neurologists and, after mega testing, been given two different diagnoses. I’ve been on massive medication at times and gone into remission twice, with no medication. Right now, I’m back to kind of seeing things in space again, but only at night, when I wake up. It’s really an interesting life. I enjoy my nighttime entertainment.
Frankly, I think it helps me be an artist. Or is this one of those, I’m an artist, therefore I am seeing things?