The news from the Polygamist ranch in Texas hits our family too close to home. In fact, my mother refuses to listen to those stories because she fears that this is the fate of my granddaughters. It is certainly something that is always at the top of my mind and my fears.
You see, I feel that my daughter may have Paranoid Schizophrenia. She started acting strangely as a late teenager; although she has been a compulsive liar and a thief much longer than that. Even her children say, “Oh, that’s mom. She lies all the time.” Which is incredibly sad.
She hates doctors and the government and distrusts the outside world. She became involved in a five family group that had decided to scorn the “modern” world several years ago. During that time, her husband became more controlling, more dictating and more involved in ‘his religion’. She talked of having sister-wives. The girls all wear bloomers, long dresses and often head coverings. The boys all wear jeans and shirts and the husband, I am told, sits around in his underwear.
I say “his religion” because he has this habit of changing the words in his bible. To excuse his behavior, he will take a pen and write, “Jesus says” before anything that will justify what he wants. He believes so firmly in Proverbs 22:15, that he takes it to mean he needs to beat children for everything and would use the word “foolishness” as a code word in conversation, to warn them that when we left from our visit, they would be beaten.
He beats with a 2×4, a 1×4 and a horse cinch. They see nothing wrong with locking their children in the closet for up to a solid month, or making them sit on a wooden chair, day and night, for a week. There are other things that may be going on that I fear. A two year old’s unnatural interest in sex, is an indication. So, is lifting a little girls dress, while she sits on his lap, to play with her belly button. That may sound innocuous to you but I have witnessed other things that indicate they are being abused in this way.
My sister-in-law took to throwing my daughter’s Christmas letters away, half way through reading them, as they detailed that my daughter’s oldest son, by her second husband, was going to college to be an architect and the four girls just couldn’t wait to be good little wives and mothers. They love doing dishes so much. My daughter and her newest husband now have a total of eight children and have lost three, beside the three we took from her home. We have never been able to see the youngest as we are now not allowed to visit.
Now, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with staying home with your children, or being a good wife and mother. Frankly, I wish that every family could afford to have a parent home with their children. Maybe then, things like girls videotaping themselves beating up other girls would never happen. Too many parents have to work too many hours and then feel guilty about it and do not enforce rules like they perhaps should.
We took our daughter’s three oldest boys away from her home three years ago. My husband, who is not their blood grandfather, adopted them when they were little as we watched my daughter deteriorate from sanity and then into brainwashing. These boys each had a different biological father. She was married once also, with no children. Then, she married this man. God help that day from ever happening to your loved ones.
When we went to visit her out west, three years ago, we were having a wonderful visit with our grandkids when these two boys let us know things weren’t right. The oldest had already moved in with us. The youngest of the three, at thirteen, told his only option, in life, was suicide. He had tried to run away and had been told that should he try again his step-father would “hunt him down and shoot him like a dog.” the middle boy, at 16, asked to come live with us because he could not take his home life any longer.
When we faced my daughter and offered to bring her and the other eight children to live with us, she jumped up screaming and pacing, “How dare you talk to me without my husband present.” Never mind the fact that she had come back to live with us three times in the past. But, as I watched her great agitation as she ran to the phone to call her husband home, at that moment, I knew my daughter was lost to me. And, that I would now lose my other grandchildren, who I had cared for constantly, before that time.
One thing that makes me angry, is after the boys moved in, I found out that the step-father’s last two employer’s, he manages ranches/etc, each had knowledge of some of the abuse. One of them, offered the younger boy, a home. The other had been told by the middle boy what was going on, as had a friend of theirs. No one did anything. No one reported it to authorities.
How we were blinded, or hid, from what was going on is our shame and I will always regret it. The youngest boy was thirteen at that time. We were told by my daughter that this boy was tested “borderline retarded” (her words not mine). When we brought him to our home and he was tested at our school, he tested as second grade in English and third grade in math. Three years later, he is now a freshman in mainstreamed high school classes. He does have a writing disability because he had not been taught to write at the right age. She did this to him. He is very bright and now must fight a disability, he should not have.
All three boys have a clinical psychologist, who has diagnosed them as having post-traumatic stress disorder. One boy, hides what has happened to him. The psychologist fears what this might do to him in the future, but the boy refuses to talk about certain things. They all sit around and laugh at the good old days when their mother gave them 100 swats for this and their father used the horse cinch on them for another 100, when he came in. I leave the room with tears in my eyes as they laugh about the “good old times” and wonder how I could have missed the extent of it.
I am so angry. I am so worried. Two people had knowledge. Our school system reported the abuse. I also sent a package detailing it and our suspicions for the girls. Both my mother and mother-in-law noticed things not right there, and yet, nothing is done. We don’t have the money to go 1,000 miles away and see to it. But, I know these kids are not being educated properly. That these precious little girls are being hit with a wooden paddle, not just a swat, but until they stand still and do not move. I know that they are not being home schooled to their potential, or even close. Why is this allowed?
Thanks for listening.