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Posts Tagged ‘exercise’

This is Irritating little Chihuahua at six weeks, January of 1999.  She is eleven years old this month, and she has her daily exercise routine.

It consists of sleeping, and

going outside and surveying her driveway, from the great sniffing of automobile tires down to the Yucca plant.  I have yet to figure out what is so intriguing about the Yucca, as it does not seem a normal “pee” spot to me, but it is on her daily route. 

It is also on her daily route to debate whether to go on down the driveway to the road.  She will look back, to see if we are watching, go a few trots, stop and look back.  This continues until I rap on the window or yell at her.  Then, she ambles off into the yard as if, “No, I never intended on going down the driveway.  I know my boundry.” 

The rest of the day is taken up with sleeping with nose buried,

and begging for food, and sleeping.  Mostly sleeping. 

Oh, and there is the occasional — jump up and give me a dirty look because she swears I touched her haunches, when she actually has a flea. 

Before I am yelled at, she has a frontline flea application monthly, as well as her heart worm pill.  She has had neurological problems with other flea applications, so Frontline it is.  This was working well for her until the St. Bernard family decided to eat our garbage and deposit their “city of fleas” in our yard.  They DO NOT get flea applications.  Chihuahua  added the garbage cans to her morning run as those St. Bernard’s leave behind all kinds of things, including their fleas. 

The St. Bernard’s eating the lid of the garbage can, to circumvent the ties and boards and anything else we could find to keep them out, finally resulted in putting the garbage cans in my studio (which I rarely use in winter).  The city of fleas resides on the ground yet, as well as the smells do.

Twice a day I comb her with a frozen flea comb, catch the fleas that freeze on it, and put them in the freezer of doom; a disposable container in the freezer.   I know this is wierd, but, yes, I have a container of frozen fleas in my freezer (Try saying that three times fast.).  On top of which, sits her flea comb.  Someday the City of fleas will all die —– I hope.

So, back on topic, the Chihuahua sleeps, eats, poops, and sleeps all day.  For ten minutes, at night, she also plays with her Taco Belle Chihuahua.   Taco Belle Chihuahua has more sewn body parts than you can imagine.  Irritating Chihuahua loves to grab it by the neck and try to knock herself sensless with it.

My fear, the year we had floods, was that our home would be flooded, fall into the pond and the Taco Belle Chihuahua would be history.  I have searched ebay, Good Will and yard sales for a back-up Christmas Taco Belle dog.  Chihuahua has a basket of stuffed toys and will occasionally play with the Turkey Buzzard and rarely with the cat mouse toy.  Taco Belle Chihuahua is her love.

Now, we have found another exercise outlet for Chihuahua: The Wii.

Yes, Gaffer brought a Wii home.  One of the games sounds rather like a bark, so she stands on the couch and barks back at the Wii.  But, bowling drives her nuts.  It took her three hours to figure out they were not throwing food for her.  She loves her Wii.  She does not understand it, but she loves it.

This is Skeeter, trying to communicate with the blue jean leg of the Wii player.  She is either saying, “Okay, where is the treat you have been throwing for three hours?” or “GO TO BED!”

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Remember the Dick VanDyke show?  There was a great episode where he went to his son’s school, probably a “What does father do?” day. He was bombing.  Telling kids you write for a sit-com that is on later than they are allowed to stay up, did not impress them.  Then, he slipped and fell, and they laughed.  So, he started a monologue about what humor is.  It boiled down to one word:  the unexpected.  Okay, that’s two words but the first one doesn’t count.

 

My humor has been on hiatus lately.  I have exactly twenty-seven blog entries started.  I go through them every day; and edit and try to make them either more interesting or funnier.  But, lately I’m just on a dry spell.

 

I should be happy.  I think the world is going well and that leaves me without funny things to complain about.  Maybe, the starving artist that I am, just needs things to go wrong? 

 

My garret is too full of food.  I can have the heat up as high as I need as we are switching companies and have to empty the propane tank.  Since we will lose that propane anyway, it’s almost like having free heat; even though I break out in a sweat when I remember just how much that tank cost to fill.

 

I have health insurance now too, and I went to the cardiologist the other day and he said my heart is good to go.  There was no permanent damage done and I am clear to get running and lifting weights. Now, that might be funny once I get going.  I have been on the treadmill all week, except I forgot yesterday.  That’s the trick now, to get in the habit.

 

Gaffer is scheduled to come home for Christmas, which is always a joy.  And, he is taking visiting bunny back home with him.  At least that is the plan, for now.  That’s what they thought last visit too.  Also, news from him is that he is buying an upscale wardrobe.  Last Christmas EMT bought Gaffer a really nice leather jacket.  I think it influenced him to upgrade from “Charlie Harper cargo pants” to jackets and even a tie.  Perhaps he is getting ready to go out in the world now.  We will know if he ever gets his hair styled. 

 

EMT may join the Army.  He took some type of test and got 100% on it.  They have been courting him ever since. They pick him up in Nashville and take him to Bloomington, to their office, where I think they conduct secret experiments on him.  From my understanding, no one gets 100%. 

 

And JRock starts his guitar lessons today.  He is doing MUCH better in his classes.  The teachers tell me that a lot of kids have trouble when they start high school but a year and a half is a bit much.

 

So, life is going well.  But, tomorrow is always another day. 

 

 

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The doctor told me he wanted me to lose ten pounds before I came back. I thought that was very kind of him, as I really need to lose more than ten pounds.  Now that I have state health insurance, I have an appointment with my doctor, and I have, in fact, lost five pounds.

 

Actually, I have lost the ten pounds; four times in fact. So, technically, I have lost forty pounds, right?  However, I do not think he will see it that way. I am getting my strength back now and slowly starting to exercise again.  And, the way I have done it is to do it at night.

 

It just seemed logical to me that, since exercise wears me out, why not do it at night and then I get to sleep and wake up the same as I would have anyway.  So, during the day I can do the things I need to do; dishes and cleaning (oh joy!).  Then, at night, I walk my treadmill.  In fact last night, I got out of bed to walk my treadmill.  So, I think this is going to work.

 

I have gone to eating, mostly chicken or turkey, more vegetables and fruits and I have cut out deserts (except dark chocolate and I am talking about the 80%/75% cocoa kind).  Yesterday, I felt strong enough to buy a box of Krispy Krèmes for the boys. I have not wanted to bring them into the house, but I thought I would give them a treat.  I was taking my pills that night, which is a reminder to eat better.  I cut a donut in half, took one bite and that was it.  Sugar just does not taste so good anymore.

 

I am firmly convinced that sugar is addictive; as is salt. The real test will be cake, however as that is my waterloo.

 

I have not come to terms with my body since my heart surgery, and the two years of inactivity preceding it. I have been blessed burdened with lower body fat genes. While, I can look at my fairly thin face in the mirror and feel good about myself, it is those full glances in a store window that horrify me.

 

I have even gone so far as to look up “how to be anorexic” on the web. Not that I wanted to be anorexic. It is a horrible disease and I am so against the image of people like Paris Hilton, who are giving young girls something unhealthy to aspire to; both mentally and physically.

 

I was not serious about wanting to be anorexic. I was just feeling desperate the day I looked it up. But did you know there are actually sites telling you how to do this? After reading how to do it, this is definitely not a diet plan that will work for me.

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OhMyGosh!!! Humor is as big as Indiana now, in my Tag Clouds. (see that thing on the right at the bottom of the post, if you are unfamiliar with the term.) Can the takeover of FLDS be far behind?  That was my goal just yesterday, to raise humor to the top level of my Blog.

I have been writing much too seriously, and I need humor in my life. You see, I am still recovering from open heart surgery, performed in November of 2007. Without insurance, my condition was allowed to progress for two years.

I told the P.A. that I was tired. Then, that I had heart attack symptoms. The P.A. told me I was just under stress. Of course, I was under stress. I thought I was having a heart attack. in her wisdom, she never offered to treat stress as that would make too much sense. Then, by the end of two years of this, a new doctor took over that office, in Nashville, Indiana, and called me  to come in to the office one day and told me to not return for three months; “you are just under stress” he told me. Then, he had the nerve to charge me $50 because he called me in so he could tell me not to come in.

I had emergency open heart surgery, seven days later, under the care of the wonderful people at St. Francis Hospital in Greenwood/Indianapolis.

The extremely patient friendly state of Indiana does not seem to feel that my damaged heart, due to the length of time I was not cared for properly, constitutes a lawsuit. So, I sit here, still without insurance, doing my own rehab with a 20% functioning of my lower heart. The doctor says I should be able to get it up to a low normal function, with exercise and I am much better now.

The surgeon told me it would take a good year. It was a frustratingly, depressing fifteen or so months actually. I would start exercise, I would rest for a week.  Now, I do the stairs four to five times a day. I do 20 minutes on my treadmill everyday. Then, I slip in crunches and weights. I love the Body for Life program and had done it for nine months before I got sick, so I’m slowly working my way back into it. My biggest problem is to remind myself to do it slowly, or I pay for it with a week of rest.

I’m exercising and eating MUCH MUCH better, so I want humor and I want to focus on humor. I’m excited to have humor overtake the news on the Indiana floods, in my tag clouds.

Aren’t you glad you know that now?????

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