Were you ever in a relationship where you woke up one morning and said, ‘This person is making me old.’?
It’s not that they are actually making you old. Mother Nature does a fine job of that on her own and when your genes add something like heart disease or cancer to the mix, it is scary. And, it is not that I am afraid of death, because I am not. And, someday I will explain that when I am feeling very psychic and ready to open my soul to the world (plus a death experience- not my own though).
What the thing is, is that I want to enjoy every minute of this life while I am here. It is way too short not to. I used to hike, picnic in the Dunes State Park in the winter, ski (cross-country and downhill), and just explore. I went camping every chance I got. Daughter-of-eleven and I once went camping with the tent and a roll of aluminum foil. Seriously, I forgot blankets, bedding and utensils. I stopped and bought a spatula and a blanket. You can make a very good bacon and egg breakfast on foil, over an open fire.
I have visited every state in this union except Alaska. I have camped in Canada and spent two hours in Mexico. That’s a whole other story. I have whale watched and driven a large cargo van up a gravel mining road in Colorado. That MAY just be what is wrong with daughter-of-eleven. She was with me and never quite got over that adventure. She did not mind going up so much, it was the backing back down the narrow, steep, drop-off, gravel mining road that did her in.
The point is, and I am sure there is a point somewhere; I am not ready to sit in a rocking chair yet. I have given up most things for years now because it seemed so unfair to my husband to do things without him. He cannot help being disabled, but I realized a few years ago that I was getting older than I should be because of not living and it was not doing him any favors either, that I was declining. He does what he can and I need to do what I can. As I said, life is just too short.
I started out taking violin lessons. It was something I had always wanted to do and I inherited my uncle’s violin. So, the last year and a half I was in Wyoming I studied with Rainer Schwartzkof and, if I do say so myself, and actually, my teacher did; I’m rather an advanced case study on violin. It may have been the years of music in school. and teaching myself to play organ. But, by the end of the year and a half, we were doing Mazas duets and, oh, how I loved that. I gave that up when I moved.
So, now that I am all better (my chest has been opened and my heart repaired) and I again have health insurance to get some rehab to help me get exercising again, I am anxious to get back to the violin. My goal: to play Hay Una Mujer Desaparecida by Wolff; Three Pieces from Schindler’s List by John Williams and I have a book of Classical Solos to tackle. I am also anxious to get back to painting.
Until they get me settled in rehab, I walk (on our four acres), and I tend the garden (getting my pulse rate up a bit) and I take pictures, and I write. Irritating Chihuahua accompanies me and occasionally sneaks away, but when I am out of doors, it recharges my batteries.
Life is too short, not to live it.